Almost another year wiser... I hope

Well, that year flew by, didn't it?  Er, not really.  Suffice it to say that last year was the most chaotic, crazy, insane, confusing, hair-pulling, frustrating year, well, ever (although that may not have been obvious due to the fact that I don't air my dirty laundry here).  Yet I didn't lose my mind, though I thought I would at times.  And I managed to rise up from the depths of chaos and find a new sense of purpose, a new way of living. 

So now, on the brink of yet another birthday, I will list a few things I have recently learned about myself and my life.  It's mostly due to reading Eckhart Tolle so if you've read him, this is going to sound very familiar.  But it works for me and this post can be a record of where I am at this moment in time.

I can tell you're waiting with bated breath (or have clicked elsewhere by now), so I'll begin:

1.  I can choose to be happy no matter what.  If I'm feeling negatively about something, it's because of my own thoughts about that thing, not the thing itself.   Nothing anybody says or does, no situation good or bad, has any reflection on me as a person.  People act out; situations arise; I don't have to take any of it personally because none of it is personal.  Life is not out to get me.

2.  There is no sense (or sanity) in fighting the present moment, in fighting what is, in struggling against things I have no control over.  To accept everything in the present moment as it is brings an immediate relief from suffering.  That was an 'a-ha' thing for me.  Seriously amazing. 

3.   Reliving the past or worrying about the future are both wastes of energy.  All we have is now.  I can make goals but if I can't do anything at this moment with regards to those goals, there's no point suffering over it and beating myself up.  The time will present itself and I'll be ready to take action then. 

4.  Complaining is also a waste of time and energy.  I'm a world-class venter so this has been another toughy to continue to practice. 

5.  Accepting people for who they are unconditionally, without judgment.  Oh yes, easier said than done.  Everyone has a right to be who they are, not who I expect or want them to be.  I am learning to see the true soul beneath the facade.  Our souls are perfect as they are; it's our minds that have been corrupted.   There are a lot of angry, miserable, frustrated, anxious, depressed people in the world and it's hard to see beyond that, but I'm learning to be more compassionate and understanding.  They aren't hurting me any so why judge?  If they WERE hurting me, well, I can say a resounding 'no, this isn't acceptable' without accusations and judgments and over-reactions.

6.  A few minutes of meditation is a fantastic way of shutting off the endless mind chatter.  I love the peace that a quiet mind brings.

7.  My body is aging and is going to continue to age, and that's okay.  So I have grey hair and love handles and a little extra weight.  We're all heading in the same direction.  Our bodies only last us so long.  So I'm going to watch what I eat and exercise as regularly as possible so my body is healthy and can sustain me for as long as possible.  But I'm not going to fret about my dress-size or my pear-shape or my big head anymore (ha!).

And that's about it.  Anything else is just diving further into the above.  I've just found that by stepping away from how I used to think and by being more accepting and understanding, life has suddenly become a hell of a lot less complicated.  Because really, the stuff I've stressed out about?  99% of the time it totally wasn't worth it.  Worrying does nothing - I worried and freaked and fretted, and yet life went on as it did whether I worried about it or not.  So I'm choosing to not.  I'm appreciating every day and not worrying about the future.

And there you have it.  It's a work in progress.  Not easy shedding 38 years of thinking certain ways.  But I'm enjoying today and that's all that matters.

 

Comments

[Heather]

Amen sista!