The Kidlet Chronicles

Um, snow? It's almost April!

And lots of it, too, until afternoon hit and melted it all.  It was dang cold and I'm pretty keen on Spring starting.  Any day now.

A Wii master in training

While at Costco on Wednesday, I saw one copy of the Go Diego Go game for the Wii and spontaneously bought it for the kidlet.  She mastered the very simplified moves in minutes and completed all the missions by the following day.  There's still a section on there we haven't explored yet, but I'm hopeful that it's more than just another few hours of play, although the kidlet hasn't minded starting the missions from the beginning again.  It was pretty cute to watch her maneuver up ladders, swing her elephant trunk, grow horns for the water buffalo.

I love the Wii.  I can't wait to get THIS for it.  Perfect for those like me who don't get out to exercise much.

Happy birthday to meeeee

Although I had to go into the office today to work, I still had a pretty good day.  It is still freaking cold and windy out but the sun was shining and there was hardly a cloud in the sky.  I got taken out for lunch by my boss and the President, where I inhaled a plate full of calamari and a greek salad.  Then despite my protestations, the waitress brought me a complimentary dessert which I forced everyone to share with me (but I still had two good-sized pieces of it).  Then we stopped at Starbucks to pick up a latte on the way back to the office. 

Of course, I spent the rest of the afternoon bloated and very full, because that's what happens when you over-indulge, but what are birthdays for?  I think the indulging has to stop though - I've been indulging since Friday and my pants were a wee (ahem) bit snug this morning.  I can't remember the last time I had to suck in my gut in order to do up my pants.  Good thing they were stretchy!

Got lots of birthday wishes today, which are always appreciated.  Even my best friend popped into the office to wish me one.  Dean came and picked me up from the office so I didn't have to take transit home, then I came home to find the bestest present of all:  my Mom had claned every set of blinds in our house.

The blinds weren't that clean when we moved in and have only gotten grimier (some were truly disgusting) but I just haven't had the time (or patience) to tackle them.  I cleaned a little section of one when we first moved in then gave up.  Mom and I were just discussing how she would come over this summer and she'd help me wipe them all down and I was looking forward to that.  But then to come home and find every set shiny and brand-new looking, with clean windowsills and sparkly clear windows?  Wow.  She said it took her four hours.  So thanks Mom!  It is truly really greatly appreciated and I can't stop running my fingers over my shiny blinds!  The whole house feels cleaner!

Dean picked us up sushi, which I had no room whatsoever for but still managed to wolf down two rolls and now OW MY STOMACH.  Too. Much. Fooood.  Ow.  Burrrrrp.  Okay, a little better.  Oh, not really.  Ow.

I totally forgot to mention Easter, didn't I?  Well, when the kidlet was sleeping Saturday night, the Easter Bunny came and hid a couple dozen of those small, foil-wrapped eggs all over the living room.   The kidlet woke up, completely forgetting that it was Easter morning and said "Hmmm... it looks like there's something on the floor".  I told her to turn on the light and she peered at a couple of the eggs on the floor, slowly waking up and cluing in.  Her eyes widened and she started blabbering excitedly.  I pointed out the basket that the bunny had left for her and away she went collecting all the eggs.  And the Dora candy holder full of candy that she didn't like so I had to eat (yes, HAD to).  And a metallic egg full of Sweet Tarts.  And a paddle and ball (that broke within five minutes of trying to paddle).

So she spent the rest of the day hyped up on sugar while I tried to convince her to eat normal food before her teeth fell out.  And apparently I had my own sugar rush because I decided on a whim to rearrange the bedroom, which involved pushing a six-foot tall, six-foot wide wing/divider thing from one side of the bedroom to the other, plus twisting our king-sized bed around to face a different direction.  Pulled my pec muscles and my thigh muscles but the room looks way better now.  Still want to paint and change the light fixtures and curtains, but it's a start.  I think I'm nesting.  Or maybe it's just Spring cleaning.

Okay, I have to go lie down and moan now...

Almost another year wiser... I hope

Well, that year flew by, didn't it?  Er, not really.  Suffice it to say that last year was the most chaotic, crazy, insane, confusing, hair-pulling, frustrating year, well, ever (although that may not have been obvious due to the fact that I don't air my dirty laundry here).  Yet I didn't lose my mind, though I thought I would at times.  And I managed to rise up from the depths of chaos and find a new sense of purpose, a new way of living. 

So now, on the brink of yet another birthday, I will list a few things I have recently learned about myself and my life.  It's mostly due to reading Eckhart Tolle so if you've read him, this is going to sound very familiar.  But it works for me and this post can be a record of where I am at this moment in time.

I can tell you're waiting with bated breath (or have clicked elsewhere by now), so I'll begin:

1.  I can choose to be happy no matter what.  If I'm feeling negatively about something, it's because of my own thoughts about that thing, not the thing itself.   Nothing anybody says or does, no situation good or bad, has any reflection on me as a person.  People act out; situations arise; I don't have to take any of it personally because none of it is personal.  Life is not out to get me.

2.  There is no sense (or sanity) in fighting the present moment, in fighting what is, in struggling against things I have no control over.  To accept everything in the present moment as it is brings an immediate relief from suffering.  That was an 'a-ha' thing for me.  Seriously amazing. 

3.   Reliving the past or worrying about the future are both wastes of energy.  All we have is now.  I can make goals but if I can't do anything at this moment with regards to those goals, there's no point suffering over it and beating myself up.  The time will present itself and I'll be ready to take action then. 

4.  Complaining is also a waste of time and energy.  I'm a world-class venter so this has been another toughy to continue to practice. 

5.  Accepting people for who they are unconditionally, without judgment.  Oh yes, easier said than done.  Everyone has a right to be who they are, not who I expect or want them to be.  I am learning to see the true soul beneath the facade.  Our souls are perfect as they are; it's our minds that have been corrupted.   There are a lot of angry, miserable, frustrated, anxious, depressed people in the world and it's hard to see beyond that, but I'm learning to be more compassionate and understanding.  They aren't hurting me any so why judge?  If they WERE hurting me, well, I can say a resounding 'no, this isn't acceptable' without accusations and judgments and over-reactions.

6.  A few minutes of meditation is a fantastic way of shutting off the endless mind chatter.  I love the peace that a quiet mind brings.

7.  My body is aging and is going to continue to age, and that's okay.  So I have grey hair and love handles and a little extra weight.  We're all heading in the same direction.  Our bodies only last us so long.  So I'm going to watch what I eat and exercise as regularly as possible so my body is healthy and can sustain me for as long as possible.  But I'm not going to fret about my dress-size or my pear-shape or my big head anymore (ha!).

And that's about it.  Anything else is just diving further into the above.  I've just found that by stepping away from how I used to think and by being more accepting and understanding, life has suddenly become a hell of a lot less complicated.  Because really, the stuff I've stressed out about?  99% of the time it totally wasn't worth it.  Worrying does nothing - I worried and freaked and fretted, and yet life went on as it did whether I worried about it or not.  So I'm choosing to not.  I'm appreciating every day and not worrying about the future.

And there you have it.  It's a work in progress.  Not easy shedding 38 years of thinking certain ways.  But I'm enjoying today and that's all that matters.

 

Playdome

After putting in my hours this morning, I decided to take the kidlet downtown to go on some rides at the Playdome thing they had set up at BC Place.  Dean and I went years ago and thought it was pretty lame then, but the website showed a bunch of kiddie rides that I knew (or hoped) that the kidlet would like and as I've kept her cooped up all week, it was high time we ventured out.

So we hopped on a bus which took us to Skytrain then hopped on Skytrain to downtown Vancouver then walked the two blocks to BC Place.  I didn't bother getting a ride pass for me, so I got her one and paid the 'guest pass' fee for me.

She had a great time.  You'd think, since we recently returned from the wonder that is Disney, she would have thought that all the kiddie rides were lame, but apparently not.  Even the most simple rides, the ones that just went around in circles without going up or down or anything, she liked.  Her favourites were the mini-coaster (really mini but she squealed the whole time and even raised her arms up once or twice before grabbing onto the bar again for dear life) and the fish ride that just went around in circles and up and down, but went really fast.

She also liked the big climbing thing - had a rope net, bouncy slide, shaky bridges and a giant covered slide, all of which she went on a few times.  It took a while for her to get the courage to cross the shaky bridges and she was passed several times by the bigger kids, holding on while she waited for them to get off, then sauntering as unshakily (I know it's not a word but whatever) as possible over to the other side.

We shared a caramel apple (okay, I ate most of it) and before we left, I grabbed us a dozen mini-donuts and a strawberry kiwi juice.  Yummy.  The kidlet had a couple, and a couple sips of juice and that was it.  So guess who ate most of them?  Uh-huh.  Burrrrp.

After three hours, we were both pretty pooped and quiet the whole way back home.  We timed the bus just right (yay), so went right from Skytrain onto the bus and home.  Well, I had to piggyback her up the hill for a couple blocks to the house, but I needed to burn off all those calories anyways.

I made hamburgers for dinner and the kidlet didn't like the bun for some reason, and only ate a tiny bite of the actual beef.  While I was doing the dishes, she came up with her mouth full saying she couldn't finish chewing it and wanted to spit it out.  So she spit it out in the garbage under the sink, then gagged.  Then gagged again.  Then

SPLOOSH

SPLATTER

WHOOSH

All down the cupboards, all over the floor.  Strawberry-coloured vomit with little chunks of mini donuts (hope you're not eating - ha ha ha!).  A little too much sugar and not enough substance, perhaps?  Or maybe she's still got a bit of whatever bug has been hanging on around here because she hasn't been eating much lately.  Anyways, into the bath she went and away I went mopping up all the goo then Windexing everything to try and get the smell away.  And washing our clothes.  And I can STILL smell it on my hands - what's with that?

She was fine in and after the bath, then she watched me play the Wii for a bit (where I kicked butt!  I think I'm getting the hang of this thing!  Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?) then we played in her room until almost bedtime.  She kept saying she wasn't tired, she wasn't sleepy at all, yet I never heard a peep out of her after I left her room.

So next time, I think we'll stay away from the sweets.  Well, ONE wouldn't hurt....

A Wii bit out of shape

I played for about a half hour last night and woke up a little sore this morning, especially my arms, shoulders, upper back and shins.  Yes, my shins.  I'm thinking it's either from the lunge in bowling or the twisting swing in baseball.  Whatever it was from, ouch.

I played some more tonight after dinner - did the training for a bit, then did the fitness test.  My Wii age?  34.  Better than 90, which is how old I feel some days.  Still, I can test again in a couple weeks and see if my skillz have improved.

Oh, and I tried boxing and the computer guy beat the crap out of me in the first round.  And I was sweating.  And tired.  So that was the end of that.  I suppose I'll have to work my way up to the boxing thing.  Maybe when I'm not so sore.  And pathetically out of shape.  Maybe I should get that Wii Fit thing.  Hmmm....

No school today and man, is it hard to work when the kidlet is around.  Especially when I have to get on the phone with various work people and she insists on saying "but Mom!  I need to tell you something!" and I whisper, "wait until I'm off the phone" and she says "but I have to tell you something!" repeatedly until I finally give in and ask the person on the other line to hold on a sec, only for the kidlet to tell me something like "when you change your clothes, the colours change!".  Alrighty then.  Good thing I put the Senior VP on hold for that.

She had a fever of 103 last night so I wanted to keep her in today to see how she was doing, but we may have to escape somewhere tomorrow afternoon before we drive each other batty.  Or bake cookies.  Either or.

Grandparents

This morning, the kidlet and I hopped in the truck and headed to Mom and Dad's, where in amongst grabbing some packing boxes to take to my Grandparent's house and chasing after the kidlet to put her shoes and sweater back on (she had them off in minutes flat), they handed me my early birthday present nicely unwrapped in the plastic bag it came in.  Oh, I know the sentiment was there.  And it's not like I didn't know what it was because Mom ran it by me before she got it, saying that it would be for my AND Dean's birthdays (though my birthday is first). 

They got us a Wii.  WEEE!

So we all climbed into their van and trekked out to Chilliwack (about an hour away) to help my Grandma pack up some stuff.  Grandpa (who is 94) has been in and out of the hospital lately due to a fractured vertebrae and pretty much unable to take care of himself or move around much.  They've been having home support workers come to the house four times a day over the past week or so (they used to come in Fridays only before all his back pain started), but Grandma (who is 86) just can't take care of him herself in between so he went back into the hospital a few days ago.  Chances are, he'll have to go into a home, so Grandma wanted to clear a few things out of her china cabinet, including an 18-piece dish set for me (as if we could ever feed 18 people at our 6 person table in our 3 person eating area) because she has no intention of staying in the house by herself.  She'll be going with him.  They've been married 57 years and wouldn't know what to do without each other so it's probably for the best.

So we got there, visited a bit while the kidlet ran around inspecting the hundred stuffies all over the house (yes, it's THAT Grandma, and she gave the kidlet THREE before we left - ugh, more stuffies), then we all went out for lunch.  Grandma said that it would be pointless going to a restaurant because she can only really eat certain things, and potatoes and meat at a restaurant don't sit well with her.  Where did she want to go?  Her favourite - Burger King.  No, she can't eat regular, healthy food but she can sure eat a Whopper like a champ.  It was pretty funny, her reasoning.  But Burger King made her happy, so be it.

We then went to the hospital to say hi to Grandpa.  The kidlet was very well-behaved in his four-person room, talked quietly, and told us all over and over what all the buttons on the bed did:  "This one makes his head go up, this one makes his head go down; this one makes the bed go up, this one makes the bed go down; this one makes his feet go up, this one makes his feet go down".  I think she repeated it about a half dozen times or so.  Thanks for pointing the buttons out to her, Mom.  ;-)

Grandpa can't really hear that well so we spent most of the time talking amongst ourselves and watching the kidlet while he grinned and nodded and pretended to be part of the conversation.  He did have a hearing aid on at one point but it kept screaming into his ear (we could hear it ourselves) so he yanked it out and gave it back to Grandma.  It was worth a shot.

We told him that the kidlet had just turned four.  The kidlet said "Yeah, my Mom measured me and I'm FOUR!  And soon, I'm going to be FIVE!".  The growth chart on the wall in her room also has spaces for pictures for each year so I think she gets a bit confused.

Then she proceeded to tell each and every one of us to "Shhh... be quiet.  The man over there (next to Grandpa) is sleeping."  We said it was okay, that we were being quiet and he probably couldn't hear us.  So she tested it by standing across from the foot of his bed and shuffling her feet quietly.  She turned around and again told each one of us in turn that it was okay, we could be a bit louder because she just made a squeaky sound with her shoe and the man didn't wake up!

A few minutes later, she peeked over at him again (his curtains weren't drawn or anything, she wasn't being intrusive) and saw that he was awake.  Again, told us all, one by one, that we could talk loud because the man!  He was now awake!

And that was about the extent of the excitement of the visit with Grandpa.  We gave him hugs and kisses goodbye and went back to Grandma's to pack up some dishes.  Then we drove the long way back to my parents, and I transferred three boxes of dishes to the truck and I drove home from there. 

After dinner, we played with the Wii for a while but my arm was already hurting after one round of bowling (I kicked Dean's butt).  He played a couple rounds of boxing (the kidlet 'helped' by punching at the air with her little fists, something I will HAVE to get a photo/video of), then I tried out tennis (finally got the hang of it after 3 single games) and baseball while the kidlet cheerleaded (cheerled?) at the top of her lungs and gave me tons of pretend ribbons.  Not wanting to overdo it and be in pain tomorrow (which I probably already will be because ugh, so out of shape), I turned it off and started our nightly routine.  Can't wait to play more though!  It's quite the exercise, believe it or not!

So all in all, another good day.  Life is what you make it!

Whats and Whos

Had a great day today with the kidlet.  We got up early to drive Dean to Skytrain (he went over to the Island for the night), came back, vegged, I had a nap on the couch with Tasha while the kidlet crawled all over me, then woke up and yapped on the phone and finally had a shower around 11am.  I love mornings like that where I don't feel the need to DO something.

I had already planned on taking the kidlet to see Horton Hears a Who - I bought her the book about a week ago to prep her for it and she made me read it almost every night.  So we went to the mall, shared a bagel and a Booster Juice for lunch, then hit the first showing.  It wasn't as packed as I thought it was going to be (yay).  The movie itself was okay - it's no Nemo or Monsters Inc., but enjoyable nonetheless with only a couple parts that the kidlet yelled out 'I don't LIKE this part!  I don't want to WATCH THIS PART!' as she buried her face in her hands.  The narration included verses that aren't in the book I have, so now I'm wondering if I have a condensed copy and if so, where can I get the full script?

About an hour into the movie (as well as fifteen minutes of previews, one of which was a new Ice Age - whee!) and after she ate almost a whole small bag of popcorn, the kidlet started getting restless so I pulled her over onto my lap where she curled up to watch the remainder.  When the movie was over and the credits starting rolling, she said "I'm pooped" and she looked it!  But we headed out and popped into the Disney store and she perked up again.  I went back to Gymboree for the second time in 3 days to buy a birthday present (and of course, had to buy the kidlet a couple more things so I could earn yet another Gymbuck - eep, I sure hope there are clothes that I like come redemption time), then we headed out for groceries because I never got around to going last weekend and we had NO FOOD left.  Last stop was Starbucks where I was offered an extra shot for my tall latte and spent the rest of the early evening buzzing about (just ask my Dad who was trying to keep up with me on the phone).

After dinner, we got into our jammies, pulled some pillows and blankets into the living room and had a 'sleepover', where we played with puzzles and Littlest Pet Shop until just after 8 when the kidlet said she wanted to go to bed.  I tucked her in, said goodnight, and never heard another peep out of her.

And now I have the whole evening to myself - what do I do?  Surf?  Watch a movie?  Read?  There are so many options!  Maybe I'll do a little of each!

Ah.  It was a good day.  A great day.

Why the time change? Why?

Alright, alright, I accept what IS and what IS is that the kidlet is not falling asleep until 9 and she slept in this morning until 7:45am.  Great for the morning, not so great at night (but at least I'm not having to lie in there with her anymore - woo hoo!)  I even took her for a bike ride (speaking of which, we're going to have to get her a bigger bike because her thighs now hit the handlebar on her trike) and played outside for an hour or so in the late afternoon hoping she would crash earlier but, er, no.  I tried waking her up earlier this morning but she wouldn't budge.

I suppose it will work itself out as it does every year but it sure screws up the old sleep habits, doesn't it? 

Just Be

Again with the inconsistent posting!  Oh well, once a week is better than nothing.

See, I've been reading in the evenings and working on ME stuff.  Or is that 'I' stuff?  Whatever.  I decided at the beginning of this year that it was going to be the 'year of me', meaning that I was going to work on all those little niggling aspects of myself that tend to make life difficult for me.  Last year, I'll admit, was a pretty rough year.  Everyone involved got through it, some a little worse for wear, but we got through it.  We carried on and forward and didn't look back.  But there was still a little... twingy thing going on in me every once in a while.  Like I was saying that everything was okay and for the most part it was, but I wasn't sure whether I was trying to convince myself of that or truly believing it.

Anyhow, I was reading a new blog I discovered and she pointed me towards Eckhart Tolle whom I had never heard of before.  Within two days I had bought The Power of Now.  A couple weeks later, I picked up A New Earth.  And as I read those books, something clicked, something in me shifted.  I saw things clearly for the first time in a long time.  I started to realize that any time I feel any sort of negativity, it's because of my own thoughts, my own doing, and generally meant I was REACTING to something and fighting things I had absolutely no control over.  It's been said before, but the way he described it just seemed to resonate with me.

So I've been watching my thoughts.  Stepping back from them.  Instead of complaining about what isn't, how I wish this or that, how I want/need this or that, I've stepped back from those thoughts and am learning to just BE by accepting WHAT IS.  It's amazing how calm things become when you stop struggling against what is.  It is what it is.  That is my new mantra.

And it certainly doesn't mean I become passive and stare off into space while drool spills down my chin.  It's seeing yourself for who you really are (minus any thoughts or labels as to who your THOUGHTS say you are), accepting that NOW is all you ever have and accepting it for whatever it is, whatever it may be, accepting people for exactly who they are and not who you want them to be, all without complaint or judgment.  You can still plan for the future but you don't STRESS about it.  You only do what you can do RIGHT NOW.  Simple, yet not all that simple at all.  We're talking years of brainwashing to think and believe certain ways.  It's not easy to let that stuff go.  But I'm working on it.  A lot of that stuff was useless crap anyways and just made life difficult.

Some days, I find myself smiling for no apparent reason.  I feel more content than I have in years.  Oh sure, my ego still tries to sway me into drama but it's getting easier and easier to laugh at it.  It's crazy.  It's great. 

So that's where I've been.  Self-discovery, I guess.  But onto the kidlet!

The kidlet has fallen asleep on her own three nights in a row now.  I have to leave her door open about a foot and sometimes she calls for me for this or that (I'm hot! I'm cold!) she does eventually fall asleep, even with the TV going (we usually watch a movie after she goes down and her bedroom door is off of the living room).

And I've noticed now that I'm calmer and not reacting to her, she's much calmer.  She hasn't had a full-blown tantrum in I don't know how long.  Oh, she still gets upset but we're generally able to work through it quickly.  I do notice that when I get too focussed on work and/or work too long of hours, that's when she starts acting out.  So I'm starting to look into either a full-day preschool for 3 days a week or after school care for four days a week so she can stay at her current preschool (which would be my preference).  Hopefully something will come up by the Fall.  I think she's ready for full days now anyways and I'm finding it somewhat more and more difficult to keep up with everything work-related while I'm at home.  So, just something I'm keeping in mind (but not stressing over).

And that's all I've got for tonight!